Jude has always been a favorite name of mine, as has Jules- I see both as nonbinary options, as is my own name: Sage.
Thank you for sharing your name change story, Jude.
I changed my name because I was forced to for safety, which I share about more in my memoir. Thanks to your Tiny Memoir contest, I was inspired to change the entire lens through which I am going to share my story. I thank you, for that.
Our names are sacred- spoken prayers and affirmations. I think we should all have the option for a coming of age naming ceremony- where we name ourselves- if we so choose. Where we shed the old, let go of the attachment of identities while embracing identity as it serves us or makes us feel connected with others.
My birth name translated to “messenger of God” and “son of a biblical man”— but they were give to me by someone who hurt me deeply- who I did not want to be associated with.
I’ve always been drawn to androgynous names which provide more freedom through their ambiguity — which as a seer I knew from the 1980s to protect biometric data which can and will be used against us.
My own purpose in life is tied to a desire for wisdom and equity, therefore, Sage Justice was the perfect choice. Each time I speak it or write it, I am putting that vision and request into the world- for us all to have Sage Justice- wise equity- in humanity. ❤️
There's probably a whole Substack in stories of people's relationship to their names, given or chosen. I was known by my middle name by my family, but the identity embodied in my first name has never entirely gone away, and has even surfaced in the name of my own Substack. When I had a diagnosis of Breast Cancer, the clinician who informed me used my first name because it was the one on my file. I decided not to correct him. I think I had some idea that I could lock away "cancer me" in a neat box once the crisis had passed. It didn't quite work out that way.
Also my mother used to distinguish between "good me" (Miranda) and "not good me: (Ruth). But she always referred to me as Ruth. Which is pretty damn twisted, when you stop to think about it.
It's a good movie too, if you prefer that. The one I watched came out in the 80s, when I was in high school. It starred Natasia Kingsey--oh I don't know how to spell her name--and it was sent and scary back then.
Jude, this piece is luminous. It reads like a slow unfolding—of memory, language, geography, and self-recognition. The way you narrate the transition from inherited sounds to a name chosen with such layered personal resonance feels both tender and sovereign.
I was especially moved by the choice not to discard your given name, but to shift it—into the middle. I did the same. Not as compromise, and not to appease, but to honor what had endured. The child who made it through, the parents who named without knowing. That kind of naming holds complexity, and you hold it with care.
The dream you shared—where being misnamed is like moving through water, unheard—is such a poignant metaphor for visibility. I felt that deeply. Naming, after all, isn’t just about identity—it’s about being reachable, seen, real.
Thank you for this. It’s not only a perfect fit for the PrideOnThePage prompt—it’s a generous offering of self.
loved this! I'm cis but have been pondering changing my birth name for awhile for various reasons, including it just not feeling like a good fit. it's always really interesting to hear other people talk about the process of choosing and changing their names, thank you for sharing!
Beautiful essay. Incidentally, Jude has always been one of my favorite names because of its gender fluidity. I always told myself that if I had a child, I'd name them Jude and deal with the Beatles references. I've shortened my own name to be more non-binary but out of respect for my mother, I didn't change it legally. It makes for awkward moments when I have to use my legal name but otherwise, it seems like the best arrangement for me personally. Lovely article!
Thank you so much for your kind comment. I’m glad you were able to figure out a way to redefine your birth name to fit your identity - that’s really cool.
Very cool and informative. Thank you for sharing. I considered a pen name that was non-binary and I came up with Morgan, but in the end I never used it.
I chose my name after I realized my very feminine birth name was causing me pain and holding me back. It was a good name, just not for me. I had a list of names and basically just picked one, after hearing some suggestions as well. It felt super awkward at first to call myself Rey. I'm still not sure this is the best name I could have found but it's good enough and I don't mind it. I'm able to have bylines I'm proud of now.
My chosen middle name, Ariel, actually I have a lot more emotional connection to it. I'm happy that's my name even though no one uses it. It's functionally a private name just for me.
Jude is a lovely name. As a linguist I'd love to know what your birthday language is, but only if you're comfortable to say. I'm a native Swede myself, living in the UK, but I studied Russian at university and also spent some time there 😵
Thank you, Lisa! I am being needlessly coy about my birth language - it is, indeed, Russian. How impressive that you studied it! I lived in the UK for many years, too.
I thought it might be with the -asyas 🙂. I love the Russian language, and the literature, and the music, and the theatre. It's a long time now since I've used it, but I would like to revive it one day, when the kids are grown and flown and time will magically fall into my lap 🙂
Jude has always been a favorite name of mine, as has Jules- I see both as nonbinary options, as is my own name: Sage.
Thank you for sharing your name change story, Jude.
I changed my name because I was forced to for safety, which I share about more in my memoir. Thanks to your Tiny Memoir contest, I was inspired to change the entire lens through which I am going to share my story. I thank you, for that.
Our names are sacred- spoken prayers and affirmations. I think we should all have the option for a coming of age naming ceremony- where we name ourselves- if we so choose. Where we shed the old, let go of the attachment of identities while embracing identity as it serves us or makes us feel connected with others.
My birth name translated to “messenger of God” and “son of a biblical man”— but they were give to me by someone who hurt me deeply- who I did not want to be associated with.
I’ve always been drawn to androgynous names which provide more freedom through their ambiguity — which as a seer I knew from the 1980s to protect biometric data which can and will be used against us.
My own purpose in life is tied to a desire for wisdom and equity, therefore, Sage Justice was the perfect choice. Each time I speak it or write it, I am putting that vision and request into the world- for us all to have Sage Justice- wise equity- in humanity. ❤️
I’m one of the ones who loved A Little Life!
Yay!!! I knew we had a lot in common :)
💖
There's probably a whole Substack in stories of people's relationship to their names, given or chosen. I was known by my middle name by my family, but the identity embodied in my first name has never entirely gone away, and has even surfaced in the name of my own Substack. When I had a diagnosis of Breast Cancer, the clinician who informed me used my first name because it was the one on my file. I decided not to correct him. I think I had some idea that I could lock away "cancer me" in a neat box once the crisis had passed. It didn't quite work out that way.
Also my mother used to distinguish between "good me" (Miranda) and "not good me: (Ruth). But she always referred to me as Ruth. Which is pretty damn twisted, when you stop to think about it.
There is a very interesting Substack about names, actually! https://janusnamejourneys.substack.com/
It's a good movie too, if you prefer that. The one I watched came out in the 80s, when I was in high school. It starred Natasia Kingsey--oh I don't know how to spell her name--and it was sent and scary back then.
Meant that to say it was SEXY, why does autocorrect have to be so dense.
One of my favorite Beatles songs. Jude is a great name. I also read the Thomas Hardy book, and have seen the film with Jude Law and Kate Winslet.
Hardy is great at writing tragedy. Have you read Tess of the D"ubervilles? Another sad story.
I haven’t! Lately I haven’t been reading as many classics. Maybe I should go back and read that.
Your story says so much at the same time it doesn't. Thanks, Jude. Fondly, Michael
I loved reading this, Jude! Learning about trans person's name choice is often like hearing a mini life story.
Thank you so much! It’s only once I wrote the piece that I realized I had so many little stories to tell about my chosen name.
I have “a little life” tattoo 💖
omg I have to see it!!!
💖💖
Jude, this piece is luminous. It reads like a slow unfolding—of memory, language, geography, and self-recognition. The way you narrate the transition from inherited sounds to a name chosen with such layered personal resonance feels both tender and sovereign.
I was especially moved by the choice not to discard your given name, but to shift it—into the middle. I did the same. Not as compromise, and not to appease, but to honor what had endured. The child who made it through, the parents who named without knowing. That kind of naming holds complexity, and you hold it with care.
The dream you shared—where being misnamed is like moving through water, unheard—is such a poignant metaphor for visibility. I felt that deeply. Naming, after all, isn’t just about identity—it’s about being reachable, seen, real.
Thank you for this. It’s not only a perfect fit for the PrideOnThePage prompt—it’s a generous offering of self.
What a beautiful summary and take on the piece. Thank you!
You are very welcome. When I comment I am always hope for the writer to feel seen, heard and acknowledged through my response.
I loved reading this story of your chosen name, Jude. Thank you.
loved this! I'm cis but have been pondering changing my birth name for awhile for various reasons, including it just not feeling like a good fit. it's always really interesting to hear other people talk about the process of choosing and changing their names, thank you for sharing!
Go for it! Hey, let’s normalize changing one’s name, regardless of whether one is cis or trans!
thank you for the encouragement! this is making me realize I need to talk more about this with the people in my life.
Wonderful writing and I love your name. Thanks for sharing all of this. ✨
Thanks so much, Nancy.
Beautiful essay. Incidentally, Jude has always been one of my favorite names because of its gender fluidity. I always told myself that if I had a child, I'd name them Jude and deal with the Beatles references. I've shortened my own name to be more non-binary but out of respect for my mother, I didn't change it legally. It makes for awkward moments when I have to use my legal name but otherwise, it seems like the best arrangement for me personally. Lovely article!
Thank you so much for your kind comment. I’m glad you were able to figure out a way to redefine your birth name to fit your identity - that’s really cool.
Glad we found each other’s publications ❤️
Very cool and informative. Thank you for sharing. I considered a pen name that was non-binary and I came up with Morgan, but in the end I never used it.
Thank you! And you never know when Morgan will come in useful…keep it in your back pocket just in case!
I chose my name after I realized my very feminine birth name was causing me pain and holding me back. It was a good name, just not for me. I had a list of names and basically just picked one, after hearing some suggestions as well. It felt super awkward at first to call myself Rey. I'm still not sure this is the best name I could have found but it's good enough and I don't mind it. I'm able to have bylines I'm proud of now.
My chosen middle name, Ariel, actually I have a lot more emotional connection to it. I'm happy that's my name even though no one uses it. It's functionally a private name just for me.
That is so beautiful, that you have a private middle name that’s just for you. I love that! Thanks so much for sharing that with us here.
Jude is a lovely name. As a linguist I'd love to know what your birthday language is, but only if you're comfortable to say. I'm a native Swede myself, living in the UK, but I studied Russian at university and also spent some time there 😵
Thank you, Lisa! I am being needlessly coy about my birth language - it is, indeed, Russian. How impressive that you studied it! I lived in the UK for many years, too.
I thought it might be with the -asyas 🙂. I love the Russian language, and the literature, and the music, and the theatre. It's a long time now since I've used it, but I would like to revive it one day, when the kids are grown and flown and time will magically fall into my lap 🙂