Book orders
an intimate relationship history
Disclaimer: This is a piece of experimental non-fiction. The inclusion of a book on this list does not constitute a recommendation.
Year 1
Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life: How Dialectical Behavior Therapy Can Put You in Control (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)
Bought a few months into the relationship, in an attempt to reign in the deleterious effect of our combined untreated mental illnesses on my psyche.Â
Year 2
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman
Bought because I was deeply in love but unable to make it work.Â
When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life by David D. Burns M.D.
Bought in an attempt to quell the anxiety engendered by my partner’s unpredictability.Â
Year 3
No book orders; only pregnancy supplies and cat toys.
Year 4
Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace by Ayelet Waldman
The Second Nine Months: One Woman Tells the REAL Truth About Becoming a Mom. Finally. by Vicki Glembocki
Bought because I wanted to be prepared for the worst. Unlike most books on this list, I actually read these cover to cover.
Year 5
Parents Are People, Too: An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents by Katherine Gordy Levine
Bought because it sounded useful. Never touched.
How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together: Breakthrough Strategies to Resolve Your Conflicts and Reignite Your Love by Susan Page
Bought out of total desperation and the misguided idea that there was a way I could single-handedly fix the relationship without my partner taking part.
Rekindle His Desire: A Practical Plan for Women in a Low Sex/No Sex Relationship Or a Sex-Starved Marriage by Richard Thomas
It didn’t work.
It is utterly fascinating to me how many books exist for the reader to "fix" themself. As though we are all broken and in need of repair. As though our brokenness is our fault. As though only we should be capable of fixing our broken selves.
What a fascinating way to sum up a relationship! It really creates a picture that tells a lot. Thank you for sharing this. X