Last week I was in a leadership retreat as part of a 10 month programme I am on, and we practiced clearing assumptions with our colleagues/team members. We all had to clear 1 assumption about each of the 13 other participants on the course, in the week we were spending together. The way we did it was ask for permission to clear the assumption, and the other person agreeing to witness an assumption. The we said the assumption we were making about the other person and the impact it had on us and the relationship with the other person. it was fascinating. I've learned so much about myself and also about the others.
I love this, Jude, thank you for sharing a lovely cafe moment. I think it's really valuable to recognize and question assumptions. Thanks for this insightful reminder.
Thank you—that’s a good way to think about it. I guess it is impossible to shut down the assumption-making process altogether, but we can strive to think beyond it.
Great piece, Jude! On Monday, I discussed some of the issues you raise in a class I'm teaching. The students read an excerpt from Jennifer Ouellette 's book, "Me, Myself and Why." Linked below.
I just wanted to come back and say I read Jennifer Ouellette’s piece that you linked, and really identify with the idea of objects as “feeling regulators”. Thanks for sharing that with me!
Your post really made me think about tattoos and how they're probably conscious Identity claims in most cases. But I wonder if they serve as feelings regulators when they're highly personal and on a spot less visible to others. Similar to her example of the picture frame facing outward vs. facing yourself at your desk. Maybe I wonder this because I keep my tattoos covered at work.
you've inspired me to try out a new cafe this week and really *pay attention* to my surroundings! i am usually guilty of showing up, ordering my drink, and then completely zoning into my work.
Ha! That actually sounds better - being completely focused on your work. I’m way too distracted by everything going on around me! But I do believe a change of scenery can sometimes be helpful. Enjoy!
Last week I was in a leadership retreat as part of a 10 month programme I am on, and we practiced clearing assumptions with our colleagues/team members. We all had to clear 1 assumption about each of the 13 other participants on the course, in the week we were spending together. The way we did it was ask for permission to clear the assumption, and the other person agreeing to witness an assumption. The we said the assumption we were making about the other person and the impact it had on us and the relationship with the other person. it was fascinating. I've learned so much about myself and also about the others.
Oh wow, that is absolutely fascinating and I’ve never heard of such an interesting exercise!
I know, I am now trying it out on everyone.
We were also told to write down our assumptions about people or places where we cleared them with a person, just to realize how silly they could be.
I think I would be so embarrassed to admit my assumptions to people!
I love this, Jude, thank you for sharing a lovely cafe moment. I think it's really valuable to recognize and question assumptions. Thanks for this insightful reminder.
I love this, Jude. So honest and accurate.
Thanks so much, Steph. That means a lot.
Love the way this was written. Thanks for sharing it with us 🙏🏻✨
Thanks so much! I actually wrote it as a stream of consciousness to see if I could access my authentic “voice”.
Assumptions are just a starting place. You proved that you can move beyond them.
Thank you—that’s a good way to think about it. I guess it is impossible to shut down the assumption-making process altogether, but we can strive to think beyond it.
Great piece, Jude! On Monday, I discussed some of the issues you raise in a class I'm teaching. The students read an excerpt from Jennifer Ouellette 's book, "Me, Myself and Why." Linked below.
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/01/personal-identity-is-mostly-performance/283043/
I just wanted to come back and say I read Jennifer Ouellette’s piece that you linked, and really identify with the idea of objects as “feeling regulators”. Thanks for sharing that with me!
Your post really made me think about tattoos and how they're probably conscious Identity claims in most cases. But I wonder if they serve as feelings regulators when they're highly personal and on a spot less visible to others. Similar to her example of the picture frame facing outward vs. facing yourself at your desk. Maybe I wonder this because I keep my tattoos covered at work.
I'm glad you enjoyed it! I
Thank you so much for your comment and for linking this interesting piece! I’m going to print it out and read it.
My husband and I have several (okay, a lot) of coffee shops we visit. Each one definitely has its own creative vibe.
It’s so good to have a lot of options! I currently have two favorites, though I might add this one to the rotation
you've inspired me to try out a new cafe this week and really *pay attention* to my surroundings! i am usually guilty of showing up, ordering my drink, and then completely zoning into my work.
Ha! That actually sounds better - being completely focused on your work. I’m way too distracted by everything going on around me! But I do believe a change of scenery can sometimes be helpful. Enjoy!
gorgeous and beautiful
Aww, thanks so much!